The Truth

Hello happy readers!

I hope you and yours are doing well.  I wanted to share with you a little bit of truth today.  I hope you enjoy!

xoxo

The truth for me today and most days is I want to blog, I think about blogging, I yearn to blog but rarely is there that time in my day.  I feel like I spend most days trying to check items off my never ending to do list.  I spend most days trying to be better than I was the day before.  I spend most days in my head trying to think positively and avoid the negative swirl of thoughts that can so easily take me out of joy.  I spend most days feeling like I haven't spend enough time with matt, or myself or the girls....or poor mae, mae!  

I really don't know when it happened that I feel so busy.  I feel like I am literally running from thing to thing.  And since we started potty training Em I am literally running holding a giggling 2 1/2 year old to the closest bathroom I can find.  The weight of it all and all the running can get you down, can swallow you up if you don't watch it.  If you don't take a moment to honor all that is happening it will be the thing that overwhelms you.  

I think a lot about how I can honor myself each day.  This is a new thing for me.  For most of my life I only thought I was worthy based on what I did for others.  How much I loved others, did for others, cared for others, gave of myself to others determined how I got to feel about myself.  That's a dangerous game.  Mostly because people are completely unaware you're playing it and they are involved.  

I'm not that person anymore.  While I adore, cherish, love and can't get enough of the people in my life they no longer define me, fill me up and determine how I get to feel about me.  I no longer allow myself to feel anxious, depressed, not good enough because of what might be going on with someone else.  This is hard and it's absolutely a practice and work in progress. For me as a wife and mother it takes being present and thoughtful each day in order to stay in my truth.  

Like everything else in my life (now) I want blogging to be authentic, thoughtful and completely reflective of where I am today.  So I commit to this space and this blog but it might look differently than it did before.  It might not be all about fashion, food and fun....it might be a little deeper than that.  If that's not your thing I get it, I honor you and you absolutely should read content that inspires you that might be this blog or it might not be...that's ok.  

I want all of you to know that the fact that you take time out of your clutter, over scheduled lives to stop by here means more than I can say.  Today this is my truth....I would love to hear yours if you want to share in the comments below.  

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