The Trouble, With Trouble
I have always loved, loved the quote from the movie Shag "The trouble, with trouble is it starts out as fun." I needed to have this written on my hand for much of college, didn't you? As I get older I still love this quote but I don't get into as much trouble as I use to these days (sad fact). These days I struggle with getting older, growing up (who wants to), and in general what it means to be an adult.
These days I think "the trouble, with control is it starts out innocently enough." I have been thinking about control a lot this week. Some not so important things happened this week that made me think about it, like not having an fing blackberry for 8 days. And some really important things got me thinking about it like some dear sweet friends who are struggling with being sick or their babies being sick.
I always think I'm perfectly in control of my life and "I've got this" until something that I cannot fix, cannot control and have no clue what to do about happens. It slams into me all at once that I don't have control and thinking I do is a joke. I think, for women anyway, control is something we will always battle with. It's like if we can manage work, a household, workout, look cute, etc. and feel in control we are all good but don't you dare throw us a curveball unless you want to see us go def con 5 on your ass.
I realized I need to surrender this week when I read a lengthy email from a dear friend whose baby is sick. She wrote to all of us beautifully and asked for simple yet powerful prayer from each of us. When I was done reading it I promptly burst into tears scaring the hubs and Mae to death (I'm not a big one for tears).
I realized it again when another dear, sweet friend emailed/texted me about something she was going through. It's hard, difficult and painful and I felt blessed, touched and moved that she reached out to me. I also felt heartbroken, sad and for the second time this week I gave into emotions and promptly sat on the floor in my office and cried. I cried and I asked God why? I asked God to give me her pain and to make it ok. I know He can't and this is her journey. But I would rather hurt than see anyone I love hurt.
What I realized through both of these events is sometimes the world is incredibly sad and for that matter incredibly cruel and I can't control it. I can be nice and peaceful but that doesn't ensure others will. All I can do is give it to God and pray. And that my friends is sometimes the hardest thing to do. It often times makes me jumpy and anxious because I feel like I need to BE DOING SOMETHING! I'm a doer. When there's a problem I want to fix it. But sometimes you can't fix it, you can't put a band aid on it and make it better.
All you can do is pray, be a really good friend and hope that time heals the wounds that have occurred. I hope and pray that my sweet friends feel better, know the best is yet to come and realize the impact they have had on me. I hope for each of you that you don't have this problem of control (though I suspect you do) and that if you do struggle with it you find a way to make peace with it on your journey.
I love you all to the moon and back. xoxo
These days I think "the trouble, with control is it starts out innocently enough." I have been thinking about control a lot this week. Some not so important things happened this week that made me think about it, like not having an fing blackberry for 8 days. And some really important things got me thinking about it like some dear sweet friends who are struggling with being sick or their babies being sick.
I always think I'm perfectly in control of my life and "I've got this" until something that I cannot fix, cannot control and have no clue what to do about happens. It slams into me all at once that I don't have control and thinking I do is a joke. I think, for women anyway, control is something we will always battle with. It's like if we can manage work, a household, workout, look cute, etc. and feel in control we are all good but don't you dare throw us a curveball unless you want to see us go def con 5 on your ass.
I realized I need to surrender this week when I read a lengthy email from a dear friend whose baby is sick. She wrote to all of us beautifully and asked for simple yet powerful prayer from each of us. When I was done reading it I promptly burst into tears scaring the hubs and Mae to death (I'm not a big one for tears).
I realized it again when another dear, sweet friend emailed/texted me about something she was going through. It's hard, difficult and painful and I felt blessed, touched and moved that she reached out to me. I also felt heartbroken, sad and for the second time this week I gave into emotions and promptly sat on the floor in my office and cried. I cried and I asked God why? I asked God to give me her pain and to make it ok. I know He can't and this is her journey. But I would rather hurt than see anyone I love hurt.
What I realized through both of these events is sometimes the world is incredibly sad and for that matter incredibly cruel and I can't control it. I can be nice and peaceful but that doesn't ensure others will. All I can do is give it to God and pray. And that my friends is sometimes the hardest thing to do. It often times makes me jumpy and anxious because I feel like I need to BE DOING SOMETHING! I'm a doer. When there's a problem I want to fix it. But sometimes you can't fix it, you can't put a band aid on it and make it better.
All you can do is pray, be a really good friend and hope that time heals the wounds that have occurred. I hope and pray that my sweet friends feel better, know the best is yet to come and realize the impact they have had on me. I hope for each of you that you don't have this problem of control (though I suspect you do) and that if you do struggle with it you find a way to make peace with it on your journey.
I love you all to the moon and back. xoxo
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