No One Will Love Her Like You Do
Hello again my lovely readers! I am beyond thrilled to know you are still out there. I still feel awful about my absence. I have missed this blog and sharing with all of you and it is heart warming to know you feel the same.
I have to tell you that there were many nights and early mornings I would lay in bed with baby girl while she was sleeping and dream about being able to blog again or read a whole magazine or workout. In those moments doing anything ordinary or normal feels a million miles away. And by the way no one tells you these things.
No one tells you, when they are throwing you a baby shower and giving you gifts, what it's really like to become a parent. How it truly feels to be a mom. And I guess it's because they can't (and you wouldn't even believe them anway).
I didn't know that deciphering baby would be a non-stop emotional roller coaster with no exit. I had no idea that for the rest of my life I would constantly being wondering where she is, if she's ok and if she needs me.
No one told me that maternity leave was a sweet cocoon of love, family and community. That during that time people will show up for you in ways you never imagined. They come bearing gifts, meals, advice and love. I've never been so touched or felt so loved as I did during maternity leave.
Then no one prepares you for the end of maternity leave. That dreaded time when the clock is winding down and your precious bubble is about to be burst. The last few weeks are filled with anxiety and heartache (or they were for me).
I wasn't prepared to leave my sweet baby girl in the hands of someone else. Nevermind, they are great, loving , capable hands they aren't mine. I had to make my peace with the fact that no one will love her like I do and that's ok. I had to let go of the idea that only I could do it and let other people in.
It wasn't easy and it still isn't easy. To this day I have the card that my mother gave me on Emily's first day of daycare sitting on my desk. It has three very important bible verses on it:
"He collects every tear in a bottle." Psalm 56:8
"He numbers every hair on your head." Luke 12:7
"He knows every hurt in your heart." Pslam 34:16
I read these every single day! They help me let go a little and realize that I have to have faith in myself and in the decisions I have made for my little one. It isn't easy but it is what I signed up for and I wouldn't have it any other way!!
I hope you and yours had a great Memorial Day!
xoxo
I have to tell you that there were many nights and early mornings I would lay in bed with baby girl while she was sleeping and dream about being able to blog again or read a whole magazine or workout. In those moments doing anything ordinary or normal feels a million miles away. And by the way no one tells you these things.
No one tells you, when they are throwing you a baby shower and giving you gifts, what it's really like to become a parent. How it truly feels to be a mom. And I guess it's because they can't (and you wouldn't even believe them anway).
I didn't know that deciphering baby would be a non-stop emotional roller coaster with no exit. I had no idea that for the rest of my life I would constantly being wondering where she is, if she's ok and if she needs me.
No one told me that maternity leave was a sweet cocoon of love, family and community. That during that time people will show up for you in ways you never imagined. They come bearing gifts, meals, advice and love. I've never been so touched or felt so loved as I did during maternity leave.
Then no one prepares you for the end of maternity leave. That dreaded time when the clock is winding down and your precious bubble is about to be burst. The last few weeks are filled with anxiety and heartache (or they were for me).
I wasn't prepared to leave my sweet baby girl in the hands of someone else. Nevermind, they are great, loving , capable hands they aren't mine. I had to make my peace with the fact that no one will love her like I do and that's ok. I had to let go of the idea that only I could do it and let other people in.
It wasn't easy and it still isn't easy. To this day I have the card that my mother gave me on Emily's first day of daycare sitting on my desk. It has three very important bible verses on it:
"He collects every tear in a bottle." Psalm 56:8
"He numbers every hair on your head." Luke 12:7
"He knows every hurt in your heart." Pslam 34:16
I read these every single day! They help me let go a little and realize that I have to have faith in myself and in the decisions I have made for my little one. It isn't easy but it is what I signed up for and I wouldn't have it any other way!!
I hope you and yours had a great Memorial Day!
xoxo
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