A little bit of this...and that

Dear Olivia, You don't this yet (and I'm glad you don't) but there was a big election yesterday and today lots of people are posting on social media.  They aren't holding space for each other, being forgiving or loving (for the most part) they are hurting and passing that hurt onto others that might see things differently.  I wish it was different but it isn't.   The outcome of the election is done and now we have the amazing opportunity to come together as a country and heal.  To do great things but it all starts with us, me and you.  You told me you loved me for the first time yesterday and there is no greater gift to me than that. I will always remember how I felt, where we were and what your face looked like when you said "wuv you".   To me, sweet Olivia, that is what matters.  On a day filled with so much hate, hurt and downright rude behavior we found love.  I hope that one moment between us creates a lot of light and space for more love.  I ho

Happy day this and thatters!  I cannot believe Halloween is over and we are rolling into the holiday season.  I have to tell you that my brain is already thinking about Christmas!!  Normally I don't buy any gifts or even think about Christmas until December.  I know this is shocking given my type A personality but honestly time just gets away from me.   This year I am taking a different approach to Christmas.  I have to tell you I normally feel all this pressure to give my kids a picture, perfect holiday season.  The truth is they are so young right now that I need to give myself a break.  At this time in their lives they are as excited about the empty box and wrapping paper as they are about the actual gift.   So this year I set a budget and I stuck to it.  I already bought all the girls Christmas gifts and all I have to do is wrap them.  Luckily in our family we only buy gifts for the kiddos so that cuts my shopping way down.  Also, I tried to buy stuff I thought the girls wo

It's Friday people!!  I am so excited for the weekend.  I only wish the weather would get a tad bit cooler so it actually felt like fall!  I hope you enjoy the confessional.   xoxo 1.  Matt and I are headed out of town this weekend to enjoy some couple time and I couldn't be more excited!  It's an early anniversary trip and I am so ready for a full weekend of couple time.  We haven't been away since our vacation in May and I can't wait for this time together. 2.  I always get anxiety before I go out of town and leave the girls.  I do better if Matt is with them and I go solo.  Us going together kicks my intensity and anxiety into overdrive.  It's better than it's ever been but my mind goes on the what if hamster wheel and I have to kindly tell it to STOP!  I think all moms do this, right?! ;) 3.  I have felt kinda blah this week.  Not happy, not sad just kind of neutral.  I don't know if I'm overwhelmed or what but I'm working on snappin

I just want to say a big heartfelt thank you to all of you!  Your responses to the shame game post were so beautiful, real and touching that I am overwhelmed.  I feel so blessed that so many of you texted, emailed, commented and felt safe to share with me.  I feel so incredibly humbled and proud that I was able to hold that space for some of you. I got a lot of questions about books I read, resources etc.  I am posting these here because it's easier to reach all of you that way.  These are just what I like and what work for me I highly encourage everyone to follow their own path in life and in parenting.  These resources helped me carve out time and space for myself.   I AM NOT AN EXPERT IN ANYTHING!!  I AM JUST TRYING TO WADE THROUGH PARENTING LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND I HAVE A BIG MOUTH.  I felt like that needed to be said in shouty caps for people that may think I have got this thing all figured out and then see me in Target feeding my kids Twizzlers, while one melts down in th

Happy Tuesday peeps!!  I hope you and yours are doing well.  I have to tell you I've been thinking a lot about shame lately and specifically how, we as parents, play the shame game.  I wish I could sit here and tell you that I've never done it, that I've never criticized or put down how someone else parents but I have and I fear I probably will again in the future.   Parenting is such a big, often scary, overwhelming, beautiful, brave, awesome experience for us that I think sometimes we crack!  I saw an instagram post yesterday that honestly inspired this blog post.  An amazing mom posted a video of her son sleeping in his own bed.  Maybe to you or to me that's "normal" or something we take for granted  but it wasn't for her.  She wrote deeply touching words about accepting (for her own sanity) that her son didn't sleep the way other kids did.  She talked about releasing the judgement of other parents, so called parenting experts and everyone else.  

Happy Friday peeps!  I hope you're ready for a great weekend and I hope you enjoy this edition of the confessional.  xoxo I don't know if it's the cooler weather or what but I've been reading like a mad woman.  I really need to do a what's on my nightstand post because it would be a good one...note to self. I'm trying to loose the last bit of weight after having Olivia (yes she's a year old in a week). After baby #2 it's a bit harder, for me anyway!  I've been taking it slow and I'm close but not there just yet.  I'm hoping that sweater weather and being able to cover up doesn't throw me off track. How is Olivia almost 1 by the way?  I feel like I just had her.  Matt and I were talking about how time is flying and how it's almost scary how quick the weeks go by.   We are working with a decorator to redo our dining room and I am so excited.  It has been such a fun project and I absolutely love working with someone who gets me

That's a crazy title for a blogpost isn't it?  Ha, ha!  Well if you have been reading for a while you know that I am not afraid of crazy.  While fear resonates with me, pain might be more accurate for what you are experiencing.  I sometimes use those words interchangeably.   To be honest I've been thinking a lot about fear for a long time now.  See I grew up afraid of everything!  Afraid my parents would get divorced or die, afraid I had some incurable disease and mostly afraid to grow up.  Afraid to say the speech in English class, write the term paper, say yes to the boy and on and on.   One of the best examples I have of how afraid I was of everything was seeing a picture of myself the day I was born.  It was in the delivery room and in the background you would see a tray of instruments and the smallest amount of blood.  That image was all I saw.  Not my mother looking utterly in love or how cute I was I saw those medical supplies and thought no way!  That is too sca

Happy Friday friends!!  I realized it has been a minute since I posted some true, life confessions so here they are....enjoy! xoxo Honestly, I'm not sure if it is hilarious or concerning but Emily told Matt the other night she wanted a budweiser when he asked her what she wanted to drink.  We busted out laughing (bad idea) but it was so funny.  Bud is Matt's beer of choice and apparently she's paying attention. I have been so tired lately.  Like, bone crushingly tired.  I can't seem to get enough sleep.  I don't know if it's the change of seasons or summer fun catching up with me but if you need me you can find me in my bed.   I'm addicted to my phone (I mean who isn't).  It's such an easy, free way to escape.  I feel like I need to get control of it though.  I feel like I'm missing actually being in the moment with people because I'm trying to scroll through my insta feed.  #feelfreetojudgeme Emily is such a diva.  When I say this

Dear Olivia, My sweet, sweet girl you have been on this earth 10 months and I realized I hadn't written you a love letter yet.  I've written to your sister (and I need to again) but I haven't to you.  So this is your first love letter from momma. I have to tell you my sweet girl that you came into this world so sweetly, easily and happily.  From the first moment I held you I felt different.  I was scared and I was scared when I held Emmy too but I was more afraid.  How could I love you both?  And equally?  How could I do and be everything y'all needed? You calmed my fears like a soothing balm.  You have such an easy way about you that just holding you puts my fears at ease.  When you look at me I swear you are peeking into my soul.  Mimi said something similar the first time she held you for a while she said "my gosh caroline I feel like this baby is looking into my soul."  I simply said I know.   You love to eat and sleep!!  There is honestly nothing

If you follow me on instagram you know I'm reading Shauna Niequist's Present Over Perfect right now.  I love all of her books.  I pre-ordered this one and waited impatiently for it to arrive and I'm so glad it did. I have read it constantly since Thursday and I'm almost finished.  I've read it standing up in my kitchen making lunches because I couldn't stop, didn't want to step away from the beauty of it.  I've also cried every time I've cracked the binding of that book and read a page.   It's good crying, crying that needs to happen.  For a lot of years I didn't allow myself to really cry.  I would start to cry and stop myself.  I would tell myself I was fine, I could handle it...don't cry.  Whatever you do don't cry I scolded myself.  I'm not like that anymore.  I cry all the time about everything.  Matt is getting use to it because it's definitely a shift.  He came in our room the other night and I was folding laundr

Happy Saturday this and thatters!  I'm excited for a low key weekend.  I hope you have a great one and enjoy this edition of what's what. xoxo 1.  Banana Republic Shoes I died when I saw these shoes on BR insta account.  I immediately ordered them.  The online reviews were very favorable as were the insta comments.  I went back and forth on colors but finally settled on this fun pink!  I figured these would spice up any black dress or otherwise blah outfit. They are also 40% off (as are all full price items right now) when using the code BRFORTY at checkout. Click here! 2.  Dr. Shefali's 7 day Conscious Parenting Challenge I've talked about meditation before on my blog before.  I truly love it and it is something I do every day.  It may only be a 1-3 minute meditation but it definitely happens.   When I saw that Dr. Shefali was doing a 7 day parenting challenge I was ecstatic.  If you don't know her you should google her.  I found her because

Happy Sunday friends!!  There are lots of fun sales going on this weekend and I don't want you to miss out on any of them.  Here are the sales/discounts I'm digging right now.   Enjoy! xoxo 1.  TKEES I must have been living under a rock because I honestly hadn't heard of TKEES until yesterday.  One of my friends had on a pair of their flip flops and they were adorable.  She let me try them on and they were soo comfy!!  I got online and checked out their site and they have a huge selection.  I opted for sandals but I don't think you can go wrong.  You can enter the promo code WELCOME at checkout to receive 10% off.   Click here! 2.  J.Crew Factory Pull-On Shorts I have to give my cuz full credit for finding these amazing shorts!!  She had them on when I saw her last month and I died at the awesome color and then she lifted up her shirt and I saw they were pull-on.  So amazing!   Ever since I wore maternity clothes I really haven't understand wh

Hello beautiful!! It's that time of year again....time to break out the bathing suits and hit the beach or the pool.  I'm not going to lie it has taken me a while to find suits that I'm comfortable with now that I'm a mom.  I need ones that are stylish, stay in place, and are durable.   I have to tell you that most of the bathing suits I'm loving right now are from Target!! Here are some suits I am loving right now! xoxo 1.  Rash Guards I love, love them for my kids and I love them for me too!  Target has a ton of fun options this summer but this color combo is my absolute favorite.  I love throwing the top on whatever one piece I might have on and not having to worry about getting anymore sun! Click here! 2.  The Best One Piece Ever I saw this one piece at anthropolgie and thought I can do better than that on price!  Enter Target yet again.  I have ordered this suit in many colors because it's that good.  Super flattering and super suppo

I wanted to say a quick thank you to all of you for your overwhelmingly kind response to my recent post titled "I'm Jealous Of My Husband".  I never expected any response and honestly felt nervous/anxious even posting it.   To date I've never received more texts, emails, messages or hits (number of people who read a post) on any post.  I was honestly overwhelmed and truly surprised.  What I wrote was super personal and super scary to write but for some reason I felt compelled to write it and share it.  Thank you for holding space for my truth and sharing yours with me.  Thank you for your support and honesty!   I will continue to share the truth of where I am, what is happening and how I feel on this blog.  Thank you for letting me be a part of your day! xoxo

Happy day friends!  I have to tell you that I did a major clean out of my make up recently.  I also cleaned all my make up brushes and the acrylic organizer I use.  It felt so good!  It also made me realize what I was actually using and what I wasn't.   I did a little shopping to make up for what I was missing and have been super happy with my purchases!   Enjoy! xoxo 1.  BeautyCounter Baby Oil I really love, love everything about beauty counter!  I use a ton of their products.  I use their baby oil for my girls but recently have been using it to remove my eye make up and love it!  It's much more gentle than anything I've ever used and really does the trick! Click here! Right now BeautyCounter is doing an awesome special that I am so excited about!  It's a 2 for 1 promo for certain products including the eye cream, body wash, body lotion, hand cream and the list goes on!  I am definitely going to be stocking up on some of these items

It's the most wonderful time of year...I kid you not!  It's the nordstrom anniversary sale and I'm so excited.  I was preggers for the sale last year but still bought amazing pieces that I'm obsessed with and wear all the time.   I really feel like this year nordstrom stepped it up a notch!  I have ordered some items and I'm still mulling over others but these by far our my favs. Enjoy! xoxo 1. Patagonia Jacket I die for this!  The black and silver were gone by the time I got my sh!t together so I ordered this fun red and I love it.  It's a great jacket and is actually making me excited for winter.  This is a must have for the sale! Click here! 2.  Fun Dress I love, love this dress!  It's super cute, super cheap and can be dressed up or down.  This was a no brainer for me when shopping the sale. Click here! 3.  Great Bag I'm always looking for a simple but functional black bag.  I died when I found this one!!  

I have to be honest I almost didn't publish this post.  This is a real and raw post.  I finally hit publish because I figured I couldn't be the only one feeling this way. I will tell you I didn't know I was jealous of Matt at first.  I knew I was angry, resentful, overwhelmed and afraid.  As a wife and mother the to do list seems never ending.  Whether you work or not being a mother is one of the hardest jobs, if not the hardest job on the planet.   Matt and I are blessed to both have fulfilling careers and therefore we have someone who helps us 5 days a week.   For a long time I felt bad for being a working mother.  I've made my peace with that.  I am now thankful instead of guilty.  It was a long road but I'm in a good place with it.  I'm not saying that from time to time I don't wrestle with working and being mother but on the whole I am comfortable with my choice.   So when these feelings started creeping up I thought it was working mother's gu

Hello beautiful readers!  I am thrilled today is the first official day of summer.  What a great day! I know (especially if you're in the south) it feels like summer has been here for weeks but today is the kick off and I love it!  I think mostly because June has been incredibly chaotic for me.  I knew this going into the month and prepared for it the best I could but honestly it has been a busy month.   I'm type A and like a lot of you our calendar is planned out well in advance.  When I realized I was going to be out of town the first 3 weekends of June (2 solo without Matt and the kids) I knew I needed to brace up, haha!  Like most things we got through it and juggled things around and made it work. I cannot tell you how much Matt smiled when on Sunday night (that's when we synch up our calendars for the week) he asked me what was going on this weekend and I got to say nothing.  And he asked about the next week and I said nothing again...ah...summer!!! I have to