Can You Put My Hair In A Ponytail?
How are my lovely readers? Are you still even out there?
I've been a bad blogger, a very bad blogger. I will openly and unabashedly blame pregnancy and then motherhood.
To bring you up to speed I have a lovely, cuddly, adorable six month old baby girl. Who fills my heart and life with so much joy it is truly unspeakable. I love being a mommy.
I will tell you that the season of being pregnant for me was a difficult one. I wasn't one of those women who glowed and loved being pregnant. I was one of those women who threw up in her trash can at work, ate tums by the bowl full and was so swollen that by the end of my pregnancy only flip flops would do.
I was also a very impatient pregnant person. I wanted the weeks to speed along and sadly they creeped along. And each week brought on a new ailment I wasn't prepared for. The heartburn and vomiting seemed cruel and unusual enough until I started swelling. My lips were so swollen at one point that a man I work with asked me if I had gotten lip injections?! Um no sir I'm just hugely pregnant.
In the last weeks of my pregnancy I opted to work from home for a multitude of reasons but most notably my fear that my water would break at the office. So I spent the last weeks of pregnancy in our little townhouse. Laying out on our back deck because as I told the hubs "if you can't tone it, tan it", eating blizzards from dairy queen and sleeping in the nursery.
I put my old double bed that I've had since college in the nursery and in the last few weeks of being pregnant it was my safe haven. It was dark and cool and I could finally relax. I would wear on old t-shirt of the hubs and lay there watching tv until very late because sleep alluded me. But I felt calm and safe there.
One Friday night while eating pizza and watching say yes to the dress my contractions started. I called my cousin who I call for every ailment or question and just by hearing my voice she knew I was in labor. Matt drove to the hospital at warp speed and every time I had a contraction I felt the car go faster.
I will save you the ugly details but I labored for 24 hours and at 9 cm baby girl stopped. We tried oxygen and pitocin but nothing worked. I had this suspicion all along that they would have to go get her. And knowing her now she was never going to come on her own.
After my c-section and seeing my family I slept like the dead. The next morning my mother and sister came to my room. I was so weak and in so much pain but seeing them gave me strength. Like only they can do they coaxed me into the shower. My sister being who she is, literally stood in the shower with me, and when I began to shake and could no longer stand she held me and toweled me off.
I then sat on my hospital bed violently shaking and unable to help myself. I have never felt more scared. For a type A, control freak like myself I didn't know what to do. I'm awful at accepting help but in that moment I had no choice. So when my mom and sister had dressed me. I looked at my mother with tears in my eyes and said "can you put my hair in a ponytail?" She said of course and got right to it.
It may seem silly and it seems silly even writing it now but that was exactly what I needed. I needed someone to take care of me to let me know that it was going to be ok and to fix my hair and they were there.
This season (as you will soon find out) has been a period of self discovery for me. A period of accepting helping, letting things go, finding my voice as a mother, working hard to be a great wife, a great worker and a great mother and failing miserably at one or the other. It's been a time of great amounts of laundry, dishes, diaper changing and bottle washing. But it has also been a season of acceptance, patience, love, joy and putting my hair in a ponytail and moving on.
More to come……
xoxoxo
I've been a bad blogger, a very bad blogger. I will openly and unabashedly blame pregnancy and then motherhood.
To bring you up to speed I have a lovely, cuddly, adorable six month old baby girl. Who fills my heart and life with so much joy it is truly unspeakable. I love being a mommy.
I will tell you that the season of being pregnant for me was a difficult one. I wasn't one of those women who glowed and loved being pregnant. I was one of those women who threw up in her trash can at work, ate tums by the bowl full and was so swollen that by the end of my pregnancy only flip flops would do.
I was also a very impatient pregnant person. I wanted the weeks to speed along and sadly they creeped along. And each week brought on a new ailment I wasn't prepared for. The heartburn and vomiting seemed cruel and unusual enough until I started swelling. My lips were so swollen at one point that a man I work with asked me if I had gotten lip injections?! Um no sir I'm just hugely pregnant.
In the last weeks of my pregnancy I opted to work from home for a multitude of reasons but most notably my fear that my water would break at the office. So I spent the last weeks of pregnancy in our little townhouse. Laying out on our back deck because as I told the hubs "if you can't tone it, tan it", eating blizzards from dairy queen and sleeping in the nursery.
I put my old double bed that I've had since college in the nursery and in the last few weeks of being pregnant it was my safe haven. It was dark and cool and I could finally relax. I would wear on old t-shirt of the hubs and lay there watching tv until very late because sleep alluded me. But I felt calm and safe there.
One Friday night while eating pizza and watching say yes to the dress my contractions started. I called my cousin who I call for every ailment or question and just by hearing my voice she knew I was in labor. Matt drove to the hospital at warp speed and every time I had a contraction I felt the car go faster.
I will save you the ugly details but I labored for 24 hours and at 9 cm baby girl stopped. We tried oxygen and pitocin but nothing worked. I had this suspicion all along that they would have to go get her. And knowing her now she was never going to come on her own.
After my c-section and seeing my family I slept like the dead. The next morning my mother and sister came to my room. I was so weak and in so much pain but seeing them gave me strength. Like only they can do they coaxed me into the shower. My sister being who she is, literally stood in the shower with me, and when I began to shake and could no longer stand she held me and toweled me off.
I then sat on my hospital bed violently shaking and unable to help myself. I have never felt more scared. For a type A, control freak like myself I didn't know what to do. I'm awful at accepting help but in that moment I had no choice. So when my mom and sister had dressed me. I looked at my mother with tears in my eyes and said "can you put my hair in a ponytail?" She said of course and got right to it.
It may seem silly and it seems silly even writing it now but that was exactly what I needed. I needed someone to take care of me to let me know that it was going to be ok and to fix my hair and they were there.
This season (as you will soon find out) has been a period of self discovery for me. A period of accepting helping, letting things go, finding my voice as a mother, working hard to be a great wife, a great worker and a great mother and failing miserably at one or the other. It's been a time of great amounts of laundry, dishes, diaper changing and bottle washing. But it has also been a season of acceptance, patience, love, joy and putting my hair in a ponytail and moving on.
More to come……
xoxoxo
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