Authenticity

Mornin lovelies!  

A big shout out to all of you for the support and love you showed for my blog post yesterday. It came from the heart and so I'm glad it touched yours!  

I have to tell you I kept thinking about things and was pretty down yesterday.  I went through the motions and worked etc. but it was hard.  I was sad!  I took a lot of time for myself and rested and chilled out when I could and needed too.  

Sometimes I feel unsure/uneasy about being sad/mad/hurt/happy/excited etc. around my kids.  Before I had children I thought I only wanted them to see me happy and upbeat.  What I am learning now and what is my new normal with them is being authentic.  

Yesterday I was authentically sad and also hopeful at the same time.  I lived and breathed in those moments and created space for them.  I realized in doing that I was showing my daughters that it's safe for them to do that too.  

I think showing my young ones that in life you will experience a variety of emotions and allowing yourself to do that is a beautiful, healthy thing will serve them well.  This doesn't mean I walked around wearing black or talked to them about something that was beyond where they are in maturation.  What it means is I told Emily I was kinda sad about things that had happened.  It means we prayed together and lit a candle for all of those that are hurting (she then asked 70 times when she could blow it out).  

I thought a lot about being authentic in front of children as I went to bed last night and how incredibly vulnerable that can make us.  To openly admit that you don't have all the answers, you aren't perfect and that you get bumps and bruises like everyone else is incredibly challenging.  For me as a parent it's even more challenging.  

There are times when I have bad days.  I'm tired, stressed and sometimes I snap.  I am short with Emily or cut time with Olivia short and lay her in her crib before she's ready.  I would get this overwhelming guilt about those things until I realized I could apologize to them.  Late Sunday afternoon I told Em I was sorry I had been short with her and asked her to forgive me.  In her sweet voice she said "sure momma, I forgive you.  You forgive me too, it's what we do".  My sweet, smart little girl said it all!  

As the saying goes from the mouth of babes.  So today and everyday I strive to be authentic and that isn't easy.  Change isn't easy and it's still a work in progress but I'm on the path.  And now I remember Emily's wisdom- I forgive you, you forgive me too, it's what we do. 

Cheers to you and whatever path you are walking these days!

xoxo