Dear Emily

Happy day this and thatters!  I promise I will get back to a more normal blogging schedule in April when my work life calms down.  Happy Saturday!  xoxo


Dear Emily,

You had trouble falling asleep last night.  Truth be told you aren't feeling well so I know that makes it hard to get comfortable.  I went in your room and rocked you last night.  You held onto me super tight and buried your head in my shoulder.  Tears pricked my eyes.  You are normally very independent and don't cling to me like that.  

As I rocked you I thought about how now (even though some days are hard) is such an amazing time for us.  Within reason I can solve whatever is bothering you.  I can kiss away the tears, put a band aid on the boo boo and rock you when you have bad dreams.  I know in the future it won't be that easy.  There will come a day when I can't "fix it" anymore and that is hard for me accept.  

You will need those days and they will teach you a lot.  I will be there as your counsel and confidant but it won't be the same.  I know in the future there will be a time (probably during adolescence) when you will think I won't understand your problems.  Even though I will and I haven't forgotten nor will I ever how hard it is to be a teenager.  

I think about those days and I pray about them even now.  I pray that God is with you when it's hard and I can't be.  I pray that he is the company you need when I can't be.  I pray that the hurt doesn't last long and that you get asked to homecoming (because I didn't one year and it really hurt my feelings).  I pray for all sorts of things.  

Mostly as I held you last night I thanked God.  I thanked him for your life, for your spirit and for your spunk.  I thanked him for letting us be on this journey together.  I thanked him for keeping you safe.  I thanked him for holding you at night so I can rest.  I thanked him for being my constant companion on this journey called parenthood.  

I hope you sleep better tonight little one but if you don't I will be right here to hold you, rock you and make it all better.  

I love you to the moon and back,

Momma  

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