My Pants Are Too Tight and Other Things That are Driving Me Crazy...
So I'm putting it out there to the universe that my pants, shorts and skirts are too tight! It is a combination of things the first being that during the legislative session my diet rivals that of a 50 year old man and consists of red meat, red wine and butter.
The other factor is that my doc put me on some medicine and I have been on it for 6 months and just last week the pharmacist mentioned to me that "you know this will more than likely cause extreme weight gain?" I was on the phone listening to a conference call and immediately hung up and said "EXCUSE ME?!" I obviously scared the bejesus out of her and she tried to back pedal but the damage was done.
I called my doctor and acted like a complete and total hyena. She of course told me that not everyone gained weight but that if I seemed to notice weight gain then I should stop the meds. Gee thanks lady!!!!! Of course it's not that easy and I am slowly taking myself off the meds and praying to Jesus that the majority of this is water weight and will go away once I'm off the meds (can you say a prayer for me?!)
So far people have told me Midol and cranberry juice help get rid of bloating and water weight so this week my diet has consisted of these two items.
In addition to most of my internal organs being damaged because everything I own is too tight there are some other things driving me nuts and they include but are not limited to the following:
In an effort to go green our office has installed lights that automatically go off if they don't sense movement after 15 minutes. I am all for going green but it is super annoying to be sitting at my desk working on something and have the lights go out. Then I have to wave my arms around or clap like a crazy person to get them to go back on. I have decided to start clapping to get them back on like the old school clapper days. Do you remember that commercial? Clap on, clap off the CLAPPER!
My favorite car wash happens to be in the parking deck of my office. I absolutely love them for a number of reasons but really love how shiny they get my wheels....yes I'm a 16 year old boy :) I somehow have become extremely close to the owner (maybe it's because I get my new ride washed once a week). In any event he normally texts me when my car is done getting cleaned because as I've told him I'm not interested in him calling my work phone repeatedly while I'm on conference calls.
For some reason I started calling him the compulsively clean car man and he know signs his texts in all caps that way. He has also started texting me random questions like:
"What are the name of those red bottomed shoes you wear?"
"If you were single would you like to go out to dinner or get flowers" (I can only have one)
"Do you like guys who wear hats?"
"Do you have baseball tickets? Can I use them sometime"
"Where do you like to get a buzz?"
These are just a random sampling of questions he sends me on a daily basis. The funny/driving me crazy thing is I totally am not serious in my responses to him and he totally doesn't get it. One of my responses to him was this "I only like guys who wear dressy hats like boller hats, kangol hats etc. I hate baseball hats and so do most girls."
His response "Really? Thanks." I think eventually I'm going to have to stop all communication that isn't related to my car but for now it gives me the occasional giggle.
The other thing that is making me want to punch someone or threw myself out of a near window is my xm radio. Don't get me wrong I heart my xm radio but it seems a bit ridiculous to me that I have to pay $14.99 for 150 stations or whatever it is when I only listen to two stations.....Prime Country and The Grateful Dead Station. I explained this to the gal at xm radio and she was unimpressed with my logic...dang it!
I hope your week has been better than mine and I hope that my clothes fit by next week and I hope this post wasn't too random/crazy....I feel much better! :)
xoxox
The other factor is that my doc put me on some medicine and I have been on it for 6 months and just last week the pharmacist mentioned to me that "you know this will more than likely cause extreme weight gain?" I was on the phone listening to a conference call and immediately hung up and said "EXCUSE ME?!" I obviously scared the bejesus out of her and she tried to back pedal but the damage was done.
I called my doctor and acted like a complete and total hyena. She of course told me that not everyone gained weight but that if I seemed to notice weight gain then I should stop the meds. Gee thanks lady!!!!! Of course it's not that easy and I am slowly taking myself off the meds and praying to Jesus that the majority of this is water weight and will go away once I'm off the meds (can you say a prayer for me?!)
So far people have told me Midol and cranberry juice help get rid of bloating and water weight so this week my diet has consisted of these two items.
In addition to most of my internal organs being damaged because everything I own is too tight there are some other things driving me nuts and they include but are not limited to the following:
In an effort to go green our office has installed lights that automatically go off if they don't sense movement after 15 minutes. I am all for going green but it is super annoying to be sitting at my desk working on something and have the lights go out. Then I have to wave my arms around or clap like a crazy person to get them to go back on. I have decided to start clapping to get them back on like the old school clapper days. Do you remember that commercial? Clap on, clap off the CLAPPER!
My favorite car wash happens to be in the parking deck of my office. I absolutely love them for a number of reasons but really love how shiny they get my wheels....yes I'm a 16 year old boy :) I somehow have become extremely close to the owner (maybe it's because I get my new ride washed once a week). In any event he normally texts me when my car is done getting cleaned because as I've told him I'm not interested in him calling my work phone repeatedly while I'm on conference calls.
For some reason I started calling him the compulsively clean car man and he know signs his texts in all caps that way. He has also started texting me random questions like:
"What are the name of those red bottomed shoes you wear?"
"If you were single would you like to go out to dinner or get flowers" (I can only have one)
"Do you like guys who wear hats?"
"Do you have baseball tickets? Can I use them sometime"
"Where do you like to get a buzz?"
These are just a random sampling of questions he sends me on a daily basis. The funny/driving me crazy thing is I totally am not serious in my responses to him and he totally doesn't get it. One of my responses to him was this "I only like guys who wear dressy hats like boller hats, kangol hats etc. I hate baseball hats and so do most girls."
His response "Really? Thanks." I think eventually I'm going to have to stop all communication that isn't related to my car but for now it gives me the occasional giggle.
The other thing that is making me want to punch someone or threw myself out of a near window is my xm radio. Don't get me wrong I heart my xm radio but it seems a bit ridiculous to me that I have to pay $14.99 for 150 stations or whatever it is when I only listen to two stations.....Prime Country and The Grateful Dead Station. I explained this to the gal at xm radio and she was unimpressed with my logic...dang it!
I hope your week has been better than mine and I hope that my clothes fit by next week and I hope this post wasn't too random/crazy....I feel much better! :)
xoxox
love this. all of it.
ReplyDeletemy stiff is "fitting"--or not so much, the same way. i thought it was due to some health issues, but nope. just age & eating habits. DANGIT!! my crazy random text messages are with my trainer who was born when we were of drinking age. (well, that's a slight exaggeration, but not too far off!) either way, it's still amusing on a regular basis. :)