A Sad Season
I have to tell you that these past few months and perhaps this year have been hard and yes sad. My mother told me when we were talking about it that I was experiencing "a sad season" and I have to agree.
Now this doesn't mean that everything has been awful, sad and terrible. I haven't been in bed for weeks at a time with the covers over my head watching trash tv. Instead I feel like it has been one of those times were the hits just keep on coming. The bad news just keeps rolling in like ocean waves. It has been a time of tremendous loss and sadness. The events that have occurred aren't the same but it felt like every time I would get my ahead above water something else would happen.
It has been difficult because there are happy times mixed in to all of the sad. In those times of happiness I have genuinely tried to be in the moment but my heart wasn't in the right place. My heart has not felt happy and there has been an undercurrent of sadness that I cannot shake. The hubs has said over and over "I can't wait for you to laugh and smile and mean it." I couldn't agree more!
I don't know if I am handling this season well but I am going back to basics, so to speak. I am reading my Bible twice a day, exercising and trying to eat well. I am trying to be as healthy as I can in hopes that it will help the sad season not be so difficult.
This week someone I know and loved passed away and I will tell you it knocked me down to the ground. I was shocked and it took a very long time for it to sink in. I think my little heart has been through so much that absorbing much more might break it. Instead of giving in to the sadness I ran. I literally got on the treadmill and ran away from all of it from the pain, the hurt and the injustice of everything that has happened lately.
I've never understand working out as therapy but in this past week it has soothed my soul. So I am going to wait and pray that the sad season ends soon and that good news and happy things start rolling in like ocean waves. In the meantime I'm going to keep running and dedicating every step and mile to all that's been lost. I'm doing it as my own special honor and memorial and I am praying it heals me a little as I go.
Now this doesn't mean that everything has been awful, sad and terrible. I haven't been in bed for weeks at a time with the covers over my head watching trash tv. Instead I feel like it has been one of those times were the hits just keep on coming. The bad news just keeps rolling in like ocean waves. It has been a time of tremendous loss and sadness. The events that have occurred aren't the same but it felt like every time I would get my ahead above water something else would happen.
It has been difficult because there are happy times mixed in to all of the sad. In those times of happiness I have genuinely tried to be in the moment but my heart wasn't in the right place. My heart has not felt happy and there has been an undercurrent of sadness that I cannot shake. The hubs has said over and over "I can't wait for you to laugh and smile and mean it." I couldn't agree more!
I don't know if I am handling this season well but I am going back to basics, so to speak. I am reading my Bible twice a day, exercising and trying to eat well. I am trying to be as healthy as I can in hopes that it will help the sad season not be so difficult.
This week someone I know and loved passed away and I will tell you it knocked me down to the ground. I was shocked and it took a very long time for it to sink in. I think my little heart has been through so much that absorbing much more might break it. Instead of giving in to the sadness I ran. I literally got on the treadmill and ran away from all of it from the pain, the hurt and the injustice of everything that has happened lately.
I've never understand working out as therapy but in this past week it has soothed my soul. So I am going to wait and pray that the sad season ends soon and that good news and happy things start rolling in like ocean waves. In the meantime I'm going to keep running and dedicating every step and mile to all that's been lost. I'm doing it as my own special honor and memorial and I am praying it heals me a little as I go.
You have a fun weekend to look forward to!! Hang in there. xoxo, Rebecca
ReplyDeleteThis really hit home for me. I have been through many sad seasons and I know the feeling well--you get past one thing and something else happens. Keep doing those little things like exercising and reading your Bible. They are not really little things. They will sustain you.
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