This Season

Happy Day this and thatters.  This is a more serious post, so you've been warned, about the seasons of life, anticipation and contentment.  

I hope you enjoy!

xoxo
Does it ever feel like the season of life you are in is somewhat difficult?  That as soon as you could get past the laundry list of items that are bothering you/plaguing you, you could finally be happy?

I think we've all been there.  All been in the difficult season of life when it doesn't feel like anything is changing or maybe everything is changing.  When it feels like no matter what you do you can't seem to get it right, or be happy for any period of time.  That even the people around you aren't capable of getting it right or doing anything right?  

These are hard seasons to endure for sure.  They are hard on our minds, bodies and souls.  These are the times when we question ourselves and choices we've made.  We often times reach out for a life boat or a friend to help cut through the mustard of what's going on.  

These are the times that remind me I need people and more importantly need God.  Not in the I go to church every Sunday kind of way need God but in the bone deep, on my knees, all alone praying in the middle of the night need God.  

I always need God let's be honest but I forget that.  I think I've got it handled and that if I keep pushing the boulder up the hill it will all be fine.  I forget to take care of myself, lash out the hubs and lose my patience with Em.  I'm not much of a wife, mother or friend during these times because I'm so focused on doing things my way, the right way.  WRONG!  My way isn't the right way as much as I may feel with everything in me that it is.  

I get wrapped around the axle about things that don't matter and aren't important because I can't control them.  I can't control that Emily is in a crummy mood and therefore taking pictures, or going to the pumpkin patch aren't going to be these fantastic, Hallmark, photo album moments.  Instead they're gonna require more of me and my patience.  It's going to require me letting go of my own expectations and need for things to be perfect.  It's going to require me being ok that every picture of her at the pumpkin patch has her holding her pouch of food in it.  

If you haven't already guessed it I've been in one of those seasons lately of needing everything to be my way and well yes be perfect.  The hubs gave me a gentle dose of reality this Sunday when I was stressing about going to a pumpkin patch, yes a pumpkin patch.  Em hadn't napped bc her stomach was upset so I knew we only had a short window of time for her to actually enjoy it.  

So the hubs problem solved (which is what he does) and said let's leave now.  So what if everyone else is getting there later that isn't going to work for us.  We gotta be flexible and do what works for her.  It stopped me dead in my tracks because he was exactly right.  First of all I needed to get a grip and a life and second of all it isn't about ME!  It's about her and doing what works and learning to let go.

Sometimes a moment that distinct will snap you out of the season you are in and make you realize that you're a nut job.  That you are incredibly blessed and life is amazing and it is after all just a pumpkin patch.  That making memories isn't about these picture perfect moments but instead being in the moment.  

We carved pumpkins the other night and it was a bit late so Em was tired.  I took pics but didn't obsess over needing the perfect picture.  I was also in my workout clothes, sweaty from running and had no make up and proudly posed for pictures (unheard of for me normally I don't get in front of a camera unless I've got my "face' on).  Because that night that's what was going on, in real life.  It wasn't perfect but it was authentic and true to our lives at the time.   

I'm working on being authentic in this season of life and not for anyone other than me.  Letting go of my expectations of what should be and instead accepting what is.  I'm meeting myself where I am and being ok with it.  Because let's be honest when I'm hard on myself no one wins!  

I encourage you no matter what season of life you are in to take care of yourself.  To strive to put yourself first, be authentic and forgiving of yourself and others.  To not forget how incredible this life is and how blessed we are to live it.  

So cheers to you and whatever season you are in!

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